#5. The I HAVE FOOD POISONING Update

EXAMPLES:

"Greg Cho is SO sick from the burrito he just ate at Chili’s."
"Mandy Boule doesn't feel right after that tuna casserole."
"Trevor Kemp always forgets he's lactose intolerant, until it's too late."

People sure love talking about food on Facebook, and the I Have Food Poisoning update is a close second behind the ever-popular I Just Ate Something Great update. In between trips to the bathroom, why not take a few seconds to tell all your friends about the pain you're going through? We've all been there, and chances are you'll ring in some sympathy with the news that you're buckling over with cramps from a meal gone wrong.

Got a good example? Post in the Comments section.